These days Chinese airlines make a big deal of Swine Flu. We’ve heard horror stories of an entire plane being quarantined because one passenger has a fever. But they don’t check our temperature before we board in San Francisco. They fly us all the way across the Pacific first. Before we were allowed to deplane in Beijing, two officials came onboard wearing scrubs, surgical masks and gloves. They both carried some kind of portable temperature-taking device and moved down the aisles testing everybody. I was too afraid to take a picture of these faceless deciders of our fate.
Our guides in Beijing told us not to worry about the Avian Flu screening, that it’s mostly formality. But they warn us that they will check our temperature again before we leave the country. Then our guides also told us about more pressing dangers – don’t drink the tap water, don’t flush the toilet paper, and don’t feed the stray cats.
We’ve tried to be good about all those things. Here at the hotel we don’t have to worry about the flushing or the cats. But we still can only drink bottled water. At breakfast the first day it occurred to us they probably mix their juice concentrate with tap water.
This is after we both finished a glass.
Unprepared paranoids, we took that moment to speculate about what happens to Americans when they drink Chinese water. Diarrhea and vomiting are the usual suspects. Halucinations? Swine Flu-like symptoms so we can’t leave the country?
Heather smiles with equal parts humor and terror.
“Swine Flu. The water gives you Swine Flu.”
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