True Love

Karina is my 8-year-old surrogate sister. We hang out every week. She has told me in folded up notes on lined paper that I'm her favorite sister, despite the fact that we're not actually sisters and that she has a real sister.

A couple weeks ago Karina told me that Damien who lives down the hall from her has a crush on me. He's twelve, meaning he's too old for Karina. This frees her to be thoroughly entertained by his insanity.

Last week Damien leaned his head out the door and yelled, "Hey, Karina. Is that your sister?" She said I was. Throwing caution into the wind like only a twelve-year-old can, he yelled to me, "I love you! Will you marry me?"

Helpful Karina, who doesn't understand that some things aren't meant to be shouted down the hall, shouted down the hall, "She's 28!"

It was clear from her tone that for how old I am I might as well be another species. He paused for a second, then ducked back into his apartment, calling over his shoulder, "I don't care if she's thirty, or a hundred, or dead!"

Ah, now that's true love.